But! It's all Shikamaru's Fault!
by Who really Knows
Summary: He should have known better! Shikamaru's idea sounded crazy, why did he go and follow it! Bully!Sasuke! Confused Naruto! And plotting friends XD
1. Chapter 1

**I feel guilty for my lack of updates on One Messed Up Alphabet, I'm trying to write a little ahead XD **

**So here is a random short fic for no reason! X**D

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"What?!" Naruto lifted his head off the ground, the catastrophic mess of now ruined ramen surrounded him and a bowl rolled straight into a corner where it sulked, momentarily forgotten.

"You heard me." Shikamaru- who was flipping through a manual on strategy maneuvers while sprawled out on his favorite couch- drawled out with an unfazed glance. "Next time Sasuke corners you be nice to him instead of screaming your head off."

"Be nice?" The words bounced off the walls, squirming back in his ears and settling in his brain with a whole new level of meaning, causing him to shriek. "That's your genius advice!"

When Shikamaru finally bothered to call him up with a promise of free ramen and the most brilliant plan ever to get rid of the evil bastard that was Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto was hoping for something that would let him punch the asshole's face in. Okay so maybe those weren't his exact words, and maybe Shikamaru was a little less enthusiastic about it, but who cares?! This was still nuts!

"Take it or leave it moron." The book he was flipping through fell to the floor with a thud, his hand following after, coming to rest on the edge of the couch. Shikamaru stared at the book, as if contemplating if it was worth the trouble of sitting up and bending over to read. "It's not my problem if you don't trust me."

Naruto frowned, pouting at the defiled ramen. Shikamaru obviously knew things he didn't right? No one is that nerdy without survival tactics, he reasoned. And with that thought Naruto started the inevitable chain of reactions that would most likely result in his death.

"I trust you."


	2. Chapter 2

** This is complete, but I'm taking time to format it and etc. **

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Monday came way too quickly.

Naruto was still nervous about Shikamaru's plan but resolved that it couldn't hurt to try. I mean what's the worst Sasuke can do? Punch him in the face? Ha! He already did that last week after class!

No one, not even Naruto, could comprehend how that would give the blonde confidence but it did. Naruto sailed through the halls of his school with a big stupid grin plastered on his face and a bright gleaming beam emitting from his eyes, causing everyone to stumble away from him with weird looks shooting his way.

It was worse than Gaara on Wednesday's cookie sale.

"Morning!" The blonde called to his class, this wasn't unusual behavior but he did sound...nauseatingly excited.

"No." Sakura sounded immediately, not even giving him a second glance as he took the seat beside her.

"What?" Was that doomed to be the question of his life? Like a catchphrase or something?

She huffed in response, releasing a stack of folders on the desktop with a loud clank. "I'm assuming that your good mood is because you heard about my break up from Lee this weekend and you think you have a shot again."

"The key word there is assume." A sultry voice interrupted, to his absolute horror Ino appeared in front of him, leaning on his desk with a gleam in her eyes that could kill. "What are you up to?"

"Leave him alone." The three turned, two faces of bliss and one slightly annoyed pounced on the newly arrived Sasuke Uchiha.

"Sasuke!" Both girls purred, Naruto rolled his eyes as he unzipped his backpack. Where was his homework again? Wait, was there homework? Oh God, he didn't even do anything this weekend! Stupid Shikamaru and his distracting!

"Hn." Naruto refused to look up and meet a smug look from Sasuke, his hands balled into fists as Shikamaru's advice rang clear in his head. Be Nice. "What's the matter dead last? Not doing homework just ensures your title, shouldn't you be proud?"

Huh, that was actually pretty weak? Naruto frowned into his backpack, finding it much easier to glance up all of a sudden. Sasuke- like predicted- was staring him down with a know-it-all look, but his eyes betrayed him.

They looked tired.

"Are you alright? Your eyes look tired." As usual, the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them and, after a brief moment of freaking out, Naruto found himself oddly pleased that he was actually managing to follow Shikamaru's advice. It was nice to ask how people are right?

Sasuke glared at him. Not the usual rawr I'm bigger and badder glare either, it was more like a what the hell kind of glare. "I'd be better if you would get out of my seat." It took all of his persistent energy not to punch Sasuke in the face. Shikamaru better be right about this! Naruto began to stand, zipping up his backpack as Sakura cooed next to him.

"On second thought-" Sasuke halted him, "I don't want to catch whatever it is you have." And then Sasuke left, taking a seat in the very back. Very, very far from Naruto.

Maybe Shikamaru knew what he was talking about after all.

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It was his last class with Sasuke and the asshole had yet to sneer, insult or tease Naruto since their first period class.

And it was driving Naruto absolutely insane.

Sure, Sasuke was leaving him alone, but that wasn't exactly solving all the pent up frustration that could easily be resolved with a good punch to the gut. The only good thing about this class was that Sasuke couldn't ignore him because they were science partners and would be forced to work together.

Usually Sasuke would make rude comments about his math skills, handwriting and general knowledge on the subject. He might even steal Naruto's paper, wad it in a ball and throw it at the trashcan all the way across the room- making it in without a second glance of course, the bastard- before showing Naruto the "proper" way to complete the assignment.

"Shino, the teacher said for you to switch partners with me." It was probably one of the longest sentences he ever heard coming out of Sasuke's mouth that wasn't an insult. Naruto processed that information as Sasuke- without even a glance in his direction- set his things on the desk in front of Shino.

Wordlessly, Shino stood up and Naruto turned away, hopping out of his seat and propelling forward on pure frustration toward their cubby hole, which contained their science project, not that it was theirs anymore.

He grabbed Sasuke's binder in a fit- nevermind that they were all the same color, it just had to be Sasuke's- and stomped toward it's owner with the intent of beating the jerk with it until he and Naruto were on the same terms again.

Naruto stalked up to his rival, a boiling rage quivering in his chest as he started to raise the binder. Just then, Sasuke turned and the two found themselves face to face. Naruto froze, his mouth fluttering open and closed as his mind processed the situation.

"Something you want to say?" Sasuke quizzed, something strangely familiar peeking through his pupils- a challenge.

"Just-" The stupid feeling in his chest clenched up, "I-here, you left your notebook in the cubby hole."

"I know you can't read, but you can at least spell can't you?" Sasuke flipped the book where a very unfamiliar string of letters flipped him off from the cover, "This is Shino's. I switched out stuff before class."

"Oh." Naruto did not dare to make eye contact as he took the binder back and turned around with a mumbled apology. Naruto wasn't really sure what they were doing in class, and spent the remainder of the day sulking.

This wasn't how it was supposed to feel.

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"Sounds like it's working perfectly." Naruto growled simultaneously with the yawn on the other end of the line. He had called Shikamaru, releasing all his pent up frustration in an instant.

"No! It's not!" Naruto insisted, kicking the side of his door before cringing at the pain and collapsing on the floor, "I want him to suffer!"

"Woah." Was Shikamaru actually amused by this?! "I never knew you hated him that much."

"I can't stand him! It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do! He's just a fucking pain in the ass!" Naruto bit his bottom lip, trying desperately to ignore that nagging squeeze in his chest again.

"So what your telling me is that you don't want him to leave you alone?"

"Right."

"But you don't want him to bother you either?"

"I'm pretty sure that's impossible."

"But let me get this straight, you hate him?"

"I-well-yeah."Naruto found himself nodding because, yes of course, he did hate Sasuke.

"Say it." The dreaded catchphrase of "what?" almost escaped his mouth before Shikamaru commanded in an even more forceful tone, "Tell me you hate Sasuke."

"I ha-" The confidence was lost, consumed by that stupid feeling in his freaking chest. "I-I-Oh no! I left the burner on and now my ramen is burning- gotta go Shikamaru bye!" Naruto hung up, frowning at the phone.

What the hell is wrong with him?


	3. Chapter 3

**This was origonally was longer, but I've shortened it to add another chapter**

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He hated Sasuke.

With his stupid big eyes and his laughable hair, and the stupid walk that he does that just oozes with superiority, and there was the thing he did with his mouth too, when he was irritated at a problem! Oh, and also the look in his eyes when Naruto and him- Waoh.

Hate! He hated! Hated! Hated! Hated! Sasuke!

Speaking of Sasuke, there he was walking down the hall with his arms wrapped around Sakura's- what?!

What?!

WHAT?!

The word wanted to leap from his mouth, mount a bird and ascend to the heavens. This couldn't be-no-she just broke up with Lee! What a hoe! Naruto hit himself, did he just call Sakura a hoe?

The tight feeling in his chest unravelled, slinking up to his throat and curling around it with a squeeze, tempting tears from the corner of his eyes. Sasuke and Sakura were together. They were probably going to grow old together and name their kids with other S names and be one big stupid S family. S for stupid!

Nevermind the fact that would be a long time from now. He was furious about it right now!

"Naruto!" Sakura glowed, standing in front of him with a smile on her face that reached her eyes and made him sick. "Sasuke asked me out yesterday! Isn't that exciting?!"

Naruto opened his mouth to respond but found the words trapped, she moved closer with that stupid smile on her face. "Well? Aren't you happy for me Naruto?"

It was history in the making, Naruto was speechless. He could only clamp his mouth shut and stormed away, fury and frustration mixing together, clamping around his throat with a tight squeeze. There was no way- it wasn't happen- "Naruto?"

Naruto froze- one hand over his mouth and the other swaying in the air beside his hip. Shikamaru was staring at him with some concern, leaning off the lockers and approaching hesitantly. He straightened out and attempted to gather himself. " Huh, yeah I'm fine."

"And my ass is green?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, snagging his collar and dragging him into a nearby classroom.

"What's going on?" Some teacher looked up at them, raising an eyebrow.

Shikamaru held open the door and nodded out of it, "If you leave now Asuma I'll do all you're grading for the next...two days."

"Hm." The teacher- Asuma apparently- seemed very amused by this proposition, "Make it a week and include the essay sections."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Fine. Get out."

Naruto watched, momentarily distracted, as the teacher left and Shikamaru shut the door behind him, leaned on a nearby desk and crossed his arms. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Naruto insisted, crossing his arms too for good measure.

"Does the look on your face have anything to do with Sasuke?" Naruto decided he did not like that suggestive tone- not at all.

He fidgeted in place, looking away from Shikamaru and out of the window where clouds were rolling by in white waves, "What are you talking about?"

"Naruto." Shikamaru clapped his hands together, tricking Naruto to look right at him the jackass. "You look like you're going to cry."

Naruto bit his lip, the same clamping feeling descended on his throat again as he huffed, "I am not going to cry."

Shikamaru's stupid face said it all, he didn't believe it. Naruto bit on his lip harder, he was not going to cry. Stupid Shikamaru, Sakura, and Sasuke can all go join their little S club and be all fucking merry together. "Naruto..."

"NO!" He yelled, knocking his knuckles on the edge of one of the desks with a hiss. Naruto rubbed at the reddening skin, fixing a glare on his non-friend friend, "I'm told you I'm fine! I'm not going to- fuck! Fuck you! And Sasuke! And Sakura! And all you stupid-" at that moment Shikamaru's face was completely blurred and Naruto shut his eyes and bit down on his lip twice as hard than ever before.

And then- because of all those stupid S people- he was crying. Naruto covered his mouth again, trying hard not to tremble as the hot droplets assaulted his cheeks. "Naruto." Shikamaru took on a rare gentle tone, and he felt a hand patting his back. "Come on man, I'm not good at this. Look, do you really think Sasuke is interested in Sakura?"

"What kind of question is that? He's with her isn't he?" He meant for there to be more venom, but it wasn't coming out.

"So? Since when has that meant anything. You know Sakura's just going to end up with Lee again by the end of the week." Shikamaru returned to sitting on the desk behind him and sighed, "Look at it this way, maybe you're nice behavior set him off? What if he returns your feelings and just doesn't know what to do about it?"

"Returns what feelings?" Naruto sniffed, wiping his face with the cloth of his sleeve, he blinked realizing Shikamaru was giving him an are-you-fucking-serious face.

"Love, dumbass." Shikamaru shook his head, facepalming. "Have you ever considered that being nice to Sasuke is so hard because you just want his attention no matter how you get it? That you strive for those little arguments of yours? That you stare at him all time and are really annoying about constantly talking about him?"

"Well that..." His heart thumped against his chest, tapping each rib with a vibrating shudder. Large blue eyes widened in realization, and the pain from before swelled at the realization. He was in love with Sasuke, who was dating Sakura- mother of other little S children.

"Stop being a coward." Shikamaru declared jabbing a finger in his direction, "I've never known you to shut up about anything, so please God don't have an exception to the rule because in the end it's going to drive us both fucking crazy."

And then he left Naruto there, gaping after him.

He was right.

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**Review please!**


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